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Monday, October 11, 2004
Been really busy with cmb work, me and eunice doing almost everything from publicity to programmes, to proposals... yah. This is what happens when the comm is not up yet, and i just wanna get things going. Will be really busy next few weeks.. Hopefully am able to settle everything efficiently. Got the drama club to think about, and also the goodluck concert publicity... argh i need a publicity sub-comm! Sometimes, I wonder why I'm doing all these... why I took up chairperson-ship.. and whether it's worth all my effort thinking, brainstorming and doing. At the end of the day, what's the point of being the chair... I'm really not after the points and I may not want to stay in hall anymore in the future. Well.... tough journey ahead with cmb and studies and more and more and more... Few reasons why I may not be interested in staying in hall in the future (but keeping options open): - Don't wanna be involve in anymore hall activities, not even block activities. - Don't see the point in staying anymore... - Change of lifestyle may be good. - Save lotsa money... imagine what i can do with $3000...Get my parents to subsidise me for my future chorale trips to europe... muahahaha. Can't describe how I feel now. I feel kinda silly now tho~ guess I'm just being myself huh... Sometimes I don't know whether I'm unnecessarily fretting... (not about studies and cmb yah) Was really tired after chorale prac on saturday. I think it's such a luxury to sleep early after that. Sleeping is always a luxury isn't it. I think that being able to sleep is such a blessing. Being able to sleep well ... means having no worries, having nothing burdensome on the mind, having no unfortunate life.... no insomnia.... able to cast aside all anxieties... Argh, feeling silly again. When will be the day when I can stop feeling that my ideas and thoughts are stupid and worthless..? What's the problem with thinking in certain ways? Maybe there isn't any problem, at all. Just me, right?! When will be the day when I can feel that others do value my thoughts after all.. even though I may sound silly, or I may feel uncomfortable with certain thoughts and wished I ain't thinking that way... Are my thoughts and intentions worth anything? Or they can be of worth only if they're converted to actions?! Posted at 3:10 AM |
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