 |
|
Monday, April 25, 2005
Have so much to write.. as usual... me and my many many thoughts... but shall just keep it short. Tomorrow is exam no.2 and i feel kinda not so prepared... like a few here and there not studied.. bah... ok... nvm... thing is i'm not worried at all.. maybe cos' i know i just did my best... and i really hope i'll survive the exam later.. hope i can do most questions. Tough open-book paper. Been thinking about some things recently... things that have been bugging me for quite long... perhaps it's my pms mood last few days that brought all these thoughts to me again. Sometimes i think i'm mad... cos' there's no rational reason for all these... why i think this way... ?! I think it's just me... i also know it's not the fault of anyone out there... everybody can do what they wanna do... so long as everybody thinks their actions are okay... but well... it's just me ok... times when i wanna be unreasonable towards some people out there. I hate saturday nights, friday nights as well... cos' usually i dun feel very good before i sleep. Tend to contemplate too much... maybe cos' i spent fri nights and sat nights at home... and then all alone and still awake during the ungodly hours... can't help it... but it's only those nights when i feel free and far away from everybody else and everything in the world... nights when i try to do some self-reflection... but then again... i hate to feel far away... distant.... apparently i'm still very troubled by many things deep down... and those nights are nights i try to understand myself, my actions, my impact on other people's lives... and i still can never overcome and conquer the greatest barrier i've been facing for quite a long time... it's still there... preventing me and hindering me at times... and seriously i hate myself for that, for allowing this big big barrier to block me. seems like i can never get to the other side... seems like i'm always stuck... when can i ever overcome and how much does it take to overcome...... Posted at 3:57 AM |
 |
