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Saturday, May 14, 2005
LS was saying that my blog is like... suicidal...?! But I'm far from suicidal... like really far... yah no wonder it doesn't speak much of me rite.. (from what some people think of me).. yah ok so from now onwards.. no more "suicidal" blogging ok... Then LS recommended macritchie as a great place to hang out... be close to nature... relax and enjoy... so suddenly i felt like wow... i'm a tortoise cos' i really know nothing about macritchie or when he told me that there a lot of cool places in s'pore to explore.. but i don't know anything. Ok as i was just chatting online with him, he just reminded me my own character.. not deliberately, just chatting.. so in conclusion, i'm not so much the "lone ranger" that i think i am.. or well i've come to a conclusion that being a lone ranger type of person will never be good for me. Well.. just look at what being lone ranger has done to me... i will just ultimately destroy myself if i continue to adapt a lone ranger lifestyle. Have tried being lone ranger sometimes.. yah but nothing good comes out from it. Oh well.. or maybe guys just make better lone rangers than girls do.. i know of guys who are happy lone rangers.. who really like being alone and undisturbed. Yah ok... so maybe i'm the sort who 'yearn for company more.....'. What i'll like to say is... LS i think u're a nice fren to keep.. thanks for remembering my down period.. since i so RARELY talk to you nowadays.. ok so no more talking about sad things next time.. yah and maybe i should learn to let go.. and stop self-reflecting for some time.. stop evaluating myself for a while.. just stop since it's not doing me good, and really change even though i'm so used to accumulating my troubles. At least i know i'm beginning to not feel so pessimistic... Weird.. but i'm thinking now that maybe i should try to fall in love with solitude. Just like to say thanks to some dear peeps out there.. i feel glad that i have you chaps to count on.. you know who you are or maybe you have forgotten that you have played an important role in encouraging me.. those of you who have done a lot in trying to assure me, to encourage me, to make me feel better during those times when all that i need was someone to talk to... i hope that all your words were the truth and not just words said for the sake of assurance. I feel glad that... at least i was never rejected by you chaps whenever i needed y'all. You were there standing by me and making sure that i'll be okay after talking. I'm just really glad to know that I'm worth the time, I'm worth listening to, I'm worth talking to.. that y'all really care for me and support me.. through the small things and the big things. Really appreciate y'all. And i know i can always count on the ONE up there.. God says "Never will I forsake you... never will I leave you." I wish I don't have to feel so much everytime after blogging. Posted at 11:29 PM |
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